Archive for June, 2010

Awesome World Cup PWH Video!

by on Jun.24, 2010, under I'm poor

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Cisco. All opinions are 100% mine.

Put yourself in a World Cup video

If you know me at all, you know I’m very passionate when it comes to sports. On more than one occasion I’ve driven friends to various sporting events; bowling, darts, hopscotch, and even soccer, when I invariably hear somebody in the car scream at me, “Hey man, yer passing it!” It makes me feel quite robust knowing that my intense feelings for all things manly are worn upon my shoulder, with pride, for the entire world to see. Because of my machismo I’m rarely called a wuss anymore. When I am, its usually because I’m either crying or watching Sex in the City.
Obviously, my favourite team is the Maldives National Football Team. There is no greater feeling than watching these football masters battle it out on the field with their peers. Go Maldives! Take the Cup!

The only thing cooler than the Maldives football team, is this custom world cup soccer video maker. You can upload your own face and suddenly be playing in the world cup! What I love most about this is how it makes it look as though Leatherface has sliced off your face and sewn it onto different people. Buffalo Bill, eat your heart out. There’s even a great segment which shows how your rotting face would look with insects crawling all over it. It really makes me wanna kick some balls!

If you can’t believe it, check out how cool Pee Wee Herman looks in this video!

Pee Wee Herman, Maldives Football TeamPee Wee Herman, Maldives Football Team.

Leave a link to your video and tell me why Maldives have the coolest Football team in the world.

Visit my sponsor: Cool World Cup Video – Live the Beautiful Game

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Boring is the new interesting!

by on Jun.23, 2010, under Blogging Tips

This is writing 2.0

Hey Bloggers, if you’re stuck for some good material here’s another tip, Boring is the new interesting! Let yourself write about anything that’s happened in your life, no matter how mundane it might seem to you. People will love it!

Have you had a bad day?

Have you had a bad day? Was some lady walking slight slower than you would normally walk, causing you a mild inconvenience? Did some guy you encountered on a forum have poor netiquette? Tell somebody about it, people not only want to know, they deserve to be informed of these events. Are you feeling down, uninspired, bored? It’s news to us.

Believe it or not, billions of people lead interesting and fulfilling lives. When they get home there’s nothing else they’d rather do than sit in front of a computer and find something boring to read.

Don’t stop there!

Take it a step further. Find lyrics to some lame song you like, and then simply copy and paste!
Do you want to write a movie review, but can’t be bothered? It’s simple! Merely search on google for a movie you’d like to review, find a review somebody else has already written that you think you might agree with (if you read it), and copy and paste it into your blog with the preface, “I agree with what this person wrote.”
This is writing 2.0 – writing without the hassle of writing.

Be sure to tune in next week when we’ll be discussing an even more advanced blogging topic, how to write a movie review that takes longer to read than actually watching the movie.

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DC Shoes, Ken Block, and the Fall of Thomas Edison

by on Jun.21, 2010, under I'm poor

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of PacSun. All opinions are 100% mine.

Ken Block Gear

I’m sure that most of you have heard about Ken Block teaming up with DC Shoes and Ford Gear. When I first heard this I couldn’t believe how incredible my life had become. If I you’ll allow me to take you back a few years, you will understand why this seeminly trivial occurance is so important to me, a guy whose incredible charm, stunning good looks and incredible physique have kept him uneployed and single for the majority of his life.

I’d had the idea for Direct Current shoes six years ago. When I was pitching my idea to various manufacturers, DC was obviously the first. Initially my vision was for a pair of shoes which could be used to recharge batteries. From there the design of D.C. shoes took on a life of their own, and before I knew it I had a pair of shoes that could not only magnetize themselves and allow me to walk up metal walls, it could also knock you across the room. All of these effects were triggered by a series of delicate tap dance moves.

Soon afterwards I was invited to demonstrate my new invention to the crumb bums at DC shoes. I wore my protoype to the meeting in order to make a stunning entrance, walking in the room upside down on the ceileing. Unfortunately for me, there weren’t any solid metal walls or ceilings anywhere in the building. Nevertheless, I stalked confidently into the room when the called me. The next unfortunate event occured as I walked into the room. ‘Hello Dolly’ by Louis Armstrong came over the muzak, and I was unable to stop myself from breaking into a quick soft shoe routine during the horn solo. This triggered a strange reaction from my DC Shoes, and suddenly three people lay dead at my feet. Literally.

Anyway, check out this killer video of Ken Block doing shoe stuff, and leave a comment saying what your favorite Monster World Rally piece of clothing is!

Anywhoo, Ken Block is a really renowned rally racer. He’s raced the pants off lesser men not only in the X games, but around the world. Many people don’t know Ken Block co-founded DC shoes. These people are fools. DC shoes are good for skateboarders who like to skate the pants off their competition. Aside from separating people from their pants, DC shoes and Rallysport have been very kind to the young gajillionaire. Surprisingly, his success has not caused him to turn his back on friends and family.According to sources he has adopted the nasty habit of referring to friends and foe ‘Old chap’ ala The Great Gatsby.

It’s Ken’s goal to grow the Monster World Rally Team best known rally team in the universe, and this young man can only reach his goal with your help. Please call 1-800-MON-STERS or go buy some DC shoes. Give until your heart hurts. Give until you can’t give anymore. When monster world rally reaches it’s zenith there will be free Mountain Dew for all of us.

Visit my sponsor: Ken Block and DC Shoes Collaboration

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Britney Spears Song Kills Five

by on Jun.17, 2010, under Unicorn Rainbow Blood

If You Seek Amy Destroys America

Christians across America have been under siege since Britney Spears new song was released. “If you go to church, you’d better watch out!” Susie McBread, chairperson of the Parents Television Council warns, “That song is like getting fucked in the ass by Satan!”

The catchy little ditty has been causing chaos amongst God-fearing citizens not only in the Promised Land of America, but around the globe. In Rome, an eleven year old girl suddenly began spurting blood from her ears when the song was heard from a passing car. More recently it was reported that five grade eight children exploded after they downloaded the song from an illegal website named Itunes.

The song in question is Spears new single, “If U Seek Amy.” According to PTC president Tim Winter, “There is no misinterpreting the lyrics to this song, and it’s certainly not about a girl named Amy.” An enraged Winter claims that if you say the title of the song fast enough, it sounds like the F-Word. “Kids turn on the radio to hear happy songs about love and shit, not hear a bunch of fucking stupid bullshit for fuck’s sake! This song sounds like the fucking F-word, and that’s so much fucking bullshit that I fucking hate it and I hate that fucking bitch for making such a fucking fucker song! FUCK!”

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