Archive for April, 2010

The Cross Canada White Trash Extravagnza

by on Apr.15, 2010, under I'm poor

Kraft Dinner Gotta Be Canadian Contest!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Kraft Dinner Gotta Be Canadian Contest!. All opinions are 100% mine.

Have you ever wanted to surf upon oceans of powdered cheese food product, building up speed as you glide over globs of melted margarine on your journey to the heart of the Canadian instant noodle dinner? Now, the chance can finally be yours! Enter the Kraft Dinner Gotta Be Canadian Contest and you could win the opportunity to travel across Canada by train as Kraft’s official macaroni correspondent, and share your experiences online with other gourmets.
I know you’re probably thinking you’ll need to take a crash course in macaroniololgy, and only a real cheesologist would qualify for such an amazing prize. It’s just not true. Not only are 90% of North America’s trailer park nutrition ministry over in Thailand on a noodle conference, the remaining 10% are made up of college students to drunk on cheap malt liquor to form a sentence, and the aforementioned trailer park consortium, who at this point in time are rolling just out of phone range on their way to the fishin’ hole.

So listen up kids aged 16-25, All you have to do is write an essay or shoot a video telling Kraft Dinner why you should be picked to be the Official KD Canadian Correspondent. Not only will you be sailing seas of cheese, you’ll also get Prizing is as follows:
A 16 day trip from the Pacific to the Maritimes for 2, valued at $16,000 $1,500 spending money, a MacBook Pro and a Sony bloggie camera. I think. I didn’t really read the rules that closely because I got so excited when I heard about this contest I nearly squirted cheese through my nipples. Once you’ve entered you can badger everyone you know to vote for you.

Now don’t just stand there, go write a bunch of stuff about how you love cheese to a box of noodles, and good luck!

Visit my sponsor: Kraft Dinner


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Franks Zappa and the Mothers of Invention in the 60′s

by on Apr.10, 2010, under Documentary, Original Bands

Franks Zappa and the Mothers of Invention in the 60′s

Admittedly, I’ll watch nearly anything Zappa related, from live footage to bootlegs to documentaries. Much has been written about Zappa and the Mothers, they have been very well chronicled. From how many times Zappa stretched his legs while writing The Dog Breath Variations to how many cigarettes he smoked in the studio while recording Magdalena, to dense intellectual interpretations of his work and ponderous forays into his political activities. There comes a point when, like with the beatles, everything that needs to be written about certain portions of their lives just may have been covered in excruciating detail by this point.

When I sat down to watch the doc Franks Zappa and the Mothers of Invention in the 60′s I was interested, yet skeptical. It starts off slow, with various Zappologists shedding light on the mans early years and musical influences using pretty much the exact same words as every other verbose Zappologist. Perhaps these people only have one book to base all of their learned opinions on. There are some cool interviews with Jimmy Carl Black, Bunk Gardner, Don Preston and Kim Fowley, but very little live footage of the band in action. You can actually find a million times more ‘rare’ footage looking on youtube.

If you happen to be new to Zappa and the Mothers, you just might dig it. If you know anything about them, this is rehashed, watery gravy. It’s safe to say that the turning point for me was having to suffer through the most irritating accent I’ve ever heard by an aged, self important hippy intellectual wearing a giant scarf with skulls on it while blathering inane facts he likely gleaned from the back cover of Freak Out! I’m sure if I wasn’t subjected to this pompous poof for over two hours, I might have enjoyed it more.

If you think I’m exaggerating:

Although it’s hard for me to dislike anything Zappa related, in my humble opinion: save your money, buy any Mother album or official Zappa dvd, and enjoy your life without fear of sitting on your deathbed lamenting the two hours you wasted one hapless evening.


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