Archive for March, 2010

Make your own damn Moviestorm

by on Mar.03, 2010, under I'm poor

Create a Kids Movie with Moviestorm and you could win an amazing $2k Mac!

Moviestorm

Moviestorm Challenge

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Moviestorm. All opinions are 100% mine.

Have you ever wanted to create your own digitally animated movie, and then suddenly remember that you didn’t go to school to study digital animation, you can’t draw, you have little money and no visual ideas? Sure, who hasn’t? As you sit slumped in your seat on the crowded subway with your fading hopes dashed upon the shores of reality, you still cling stubbornly to this dream. This desire is eating you away inside. This fire, which compels you to create, spurs you to reach higher and higher…

And then you look down at the poorly rendered stickman animation you’ve spent the past six months working on. You realize you’re near the end, because your 300 page flip book is rapidly running out of paper, yet when you preview your master work, ‘Man walking, ball bouncing,’ you realize there must be another way. Well thankfully, there is.

INT. LOUNGE – NIGHT
ENTER: MOVIESTORM, a stunningly handsome virtual movie studio which has everything you need to make animated movies in the comfort of your own home. Moviestorm is a subscription based animation service that costs only $8 a month. Try out the free version for Mac or PC.

MOVIESTORM:

I’m here to rent you some unique content.

VILLAIN

What, like some crappy rubber robots? Beat it before I blow your fool head off!

MOVIESTORM:

Why you dirtyNo you drooling degenerate, you can get any kind of content you want. Horror, cop shows, music videos, science fiction, even romance. From where I’m standing, the only way you’ll ever see romance is if you make it up yourself. Check out the unique content rental system.

VILLAIN:

I prefer using a paper and pencil to draw bouncing balls. I find technology strange and confusing; in fact it makes me uncomfortable.

MOVIESTORM:

Don’t be an idiot, Moviestorm is fun and easy to use. Check out these tutorial videos and you’ll realize even a shmuck like you can function in a modern society.

As MOVIESTORM turns around to leave, the evil villain raises his gun, aiming for the back of his head.
CUT TO COMMERCIAL

So, quit standing around bellyaching, and go win a MAC.

Visit my sponsor: Moviestorm


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I’m crazy Japanese

by on Mar.03, 2010, under Original Bands

This group, a two man band funneling the raw power of the White Stripes and displaying the strength, power and mystique of Guns’n'Roses, is obviously my new favorite band. They don’t have a name, or if they do they don’t need one. If I could name them, if I was to be given such an honour, I would name them them ‘The Awesome’. Shades of Iron Maiden, specks of Ramones, sprinklings of Zeppelin and whatever it is that makes men tick. Rock is the answer, and these gifted performers are the question. Oh E Ro chimney to work stupid annoying Yaro. Watashi no tomodachi , seien ni iwa! Anata no hidoi ongaku to wa , sekai wo hikitsugu koto ga deki masu.
At long last, I bring you the unnameable! Live from Yoyogi Park!

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Who says there’s no such thing as a free pizza?

by on Mar.03, 2010, under I'm poor

Tony’s Pizza

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Tony’s Pizza. All opinions are 100% mine.

I know in the past I’ve spoken ill of, perhaps even mentioned derisively in passing conversation that frozen pizza was created by a demon named Mealphegor. He is known to seduce people by suggesting to them prefabricated pork laced products rich in saturated fats.

This was before I discovered Tony’s Frozen Pizza! I was recently awarded some coupons to sample some of this fine fare for free. Instantly I suspected that Mealphegor was behind it, and regarded this unforeseen boon as one might look upon a cursed monkey’s paw, or even worse, a treasure troll. Luckily for all of us this was not the case. The source was not only substantiated as decidedly ‘non-evil,’ it turned out to be one of the greatest discoveries of my lifetime.

Tony’s Pizza is full of cheesy goodness. I invited several friends over to watch the bowling playoffs, and the party really got started when these crispy marvels were served. I was the toast of the evening. Everybody loves this pizza, it’s got a taste that even kids can’t get enough of. The pepperoni was full of pep, The Supreme was aptly named, and the Meat Trio turned me from a zero into a hero! I’m pretty sure it was the pizza and not the seven cans of Yankee Jim. At any rate, who needs another hero when you’ve got free pizza.

This is the perfect pizza to take to sporting events, to watch TV with, to impress a first date, to smile at yourself in the mirror beside, and to give away for free on this blog. That’s right, the first five people who make comments here will be award coupons for a free Tony’s Pizza, no strings attached! Movie night will never be the same!

Now, I know that this sounds too good to be true, but it is.

I also know that you must think Mealphegor is trying to lure you to his realm. Well don’t worry, we all know that this creature can’t write his name backwards. Rogehplaem. Now the only thing trying to seduce you will be the cheesy, crusty goodness of a fresh baked frozen pizza. So stop trying to banish me, and start leaving comments if you want to get your coupon for a free Tony’s Pizza in the mail today.

Visit my sponsor: Free Samples


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