Archive for November, 2009

Holy Microwaveable Sandwiches trips

by on Nov.19, 2009, under I'm poor

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of henderson bas. All opinions are 100% mine.

Hey black metal fans, who here likes sandwiches? I know me and Satan do! Get on board, eat one of eleven different types of microwaveable meat and win a trip to Las Vegas to see the big game on Game Day!

Surely you jest, you must be thinking. What is this game of which you speak? The only game I like is tricking people into selling their souls to the dark lord. Well, evil ones, the game I speak of is FOOTBALL! If you eat Bistro Crustini sandwiches, you can win air fare for two, five days and four nights at a deluxe hotel (just like in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas), chauffeured limousine service, two tickets to a big show, and $1,500 spending money!

If you’re like me you like to eat delicious sandwiches, and now you have even more reason to chow down on corn fed bovines and flu spewing swine. Don’t worry, there are still more prizes. How would you like to listen to Hell Hammer on your very own...Home Theatre System!?! You’ll be able to watch Gaahl on blu-ray, it’ll be like sitting in the dungeon with a deranged lunatic – in your very own home! Not only that, if you eat these delicious microwaveable meat and cheese concoctions you’re also eligible for a weekly draw to win a digital camera!

By the way, you won’t be trying to read the fine print by the glare of a burning church two years from now – it’s INSTANT WIN!

Remember, only one entry per person, and your spirit guide counts as you. This contest is only for residents of Canada. You don’t need to worship Satan to apply, nor do you need to be able to count to 11.

Game Day

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British Airwaves are having a gigantic seat sale!

by on Nov.12, 2009, under I'm poor

If there was anywhere in the world you could go, imagine that. In the whole wide world. Whoa!
That’s a lot of places to go, especially because the world is so big. You need an airplane to go and fly around the world in. They are expensive, so what you should do it go on the British airways website and get a cheap flight. If you were flying to Canada, that would be like, mucho savings.

I’d like to fly around the world, but my butt would sure get sore after a long flight like that. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I’d like to fly around the world in stages, and make stops every so often to see whats going on, you know? Stop here and there and be like, “Hey man, sup Yo?”

If you wanted to fly from Toronto to Maldives, it would only cost you $928! Unbelievable! I didn’t even know there was a place called that! You might not want to go there, because I’m pretty sure a country like that would smell like those pimentos you find in cheap olives. Start with Toronto to London, it’s only $386 for a round trip. If you’re from Montreal you can even bring eggs to throw at Prince Charles. What fun!

This is a great deal, and you should be sure to purchase your tickets before Novemeber 19th 2009 to get in on the savings. Oh yeah, did I mention movies? There are over 200 movies available in their On-Demand entertainment. That’s a lot of watching, you’d need to fly around the world twice to watch that many movies, and I ain’t fooling around this time. While you’re flying around the world be sure to enjoy sitting in comfortable, ergonomic seats with lumbar support. You’re butt will hardly be sore at all. If your feet are prone to swelling up and looking all weird they even have flight socks to keep your veins in your feet.
Just remember to book by November 19th, or this offer will no longer fly.

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